It's not a coincidence....

I have these moments of pure clarity where I can see what I want my life to be, and how I am going to feel within that life. It will happen when I least expect it. Teaching a math lesson, unloading the dishwasher or singing along to my favorite Sugarland song. The moment I snap back to reality I feel this sense of longing and regret for the things I know I want to change, but don't seem to be able to. I do have an amazing life, filled with amazing people that I can't live without. I have two amazing sons that shock me everyday ( some good , some bad). I married my high school sweetheart who supports me and makes me a better person. I have a teaching career which I am completely passionate about, and family and friends that make life interesting. Some nights I will check on the boys right before I go to bed, see their sleeping faces and crawl into bed with my husband and feel great appreciation for everything. But, I don't want to take these great days for granted. I don't want something horrible to happen and look back and say, "What a great life I had, I wish I would have realized it." I want to be present in my life, and I now I feel like a spectator. I want to be playing with my sons, and not have my mind preoccupied with the load of darks that need to be folded in the dryer before they wrinkle. One of my friends once told me that she sees her life as always being mediocre. I died a little on the inside because my whole goal in life is to have an extraordinary life. This does not mean I need to climb Mt. Everest or make a billion dollars. I just want to look back on my life and I know that I was engaged and present for the millions of memories that I made, good and bad. I want to feel like my life is not just passing me by, but that I meet my passions head on with energy and enthusiasm. So why have a blog about find my bliss? I feel like I have all of these goals or resolutions, that I start but I don't seem to fall through on them or I don't keep it going. I feel like I know what areas I need to change in order to find my bliss - I am just not sure where to start and I don't want to fail again. I feel like a lot of mom's have the same problems that I have, but no one says anything. It seems like a constant competition to see who SEEMS like they have it all together. I will begin right here and now acknowledging that I don't pretend to have it all together, and I am learning everyday how to balance it all. I started designing this blog and wanting to bring my life into a space of reflection and understanding. But, not really knowing what to do with all of these thoughts and feelings. Until I was at my favorite place ( Barnes and Noble) - I picked up this book called the Happiness Project. I opened it up and read a couple of sentences and instantly knew this book was the key to organize my mission to try and find my bliss.... I will begin my own Happiness Project.